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Son of a bitch!
Have you ever really stopped to think about this term? It’s supposed to be derogatory toward the person you’re saying it to, however, it really only targets their mother. Is this fair? I think not.
I have used the term on occasion and really felt those sons of a bitches deserved it. If I would stop and be totally honest with myself, I too have been a son of a bitch at times. Hmmm. That doesn’t make sense. My mother is the kindest, smartest, most selfless and warm hearted person in the world, who herself only occasionally uses the term “Son of a Bitch!” Therefore, knowing that at times I truly am a son of a bitch, and am always the son of this woman, how can I coexist with myself?
It seems that two totally opposite things, coming together to occupy the same space in the same time, would completely annihilate one another releasing only pure energy. Does this happen? Perhaps, but science has really found no hard evidence supporting spontaneous combustion in my opinion. “He was here one minute and then, poof, ashes on the floor.” You always hear about the ashes. So, he may have indeed been a son of a bitch with a nice mother, but this is not why he spontaneously combusted. If it were, there’d be no ashes left, nothing, just a burst of energy. If you’re thinking to yourself that there might not be ashes in some cases or that the ashes might have come from somewhere else, you may have an argument. But, you need to do the math. If energy equals mass times the speed of light squared, and the guy weighed about 180lbs, then multiply that by 187 thousand miles per second times 187 thousand miles per second, well, I’m going to stop here. Let’s just say that not only would there be no ashes, there’d be no metroplex wherever this poor son of a bitch lived.
No, this doesn’t happen, so, we must go back to the term itself. It isn’t intended to be derogatory to the mother; it is intended to be derogatory toward the person it’s being said to. Therefore, perhaps we’re not talking about the mother at all. Let’s consider other notable bitches. Life is a bitch, but “You son of life!” wouldn’t sound right at all. In fact, the target of your animosity might just laugh at you. School is a bitch, work is a bitch, well, I think you can see my point, there are a lot of bitches out there and none of them sound right when you substitute them for the word bitch in the phrase son of a bitch.
I’m beginning to think that son of a bitch is just a literary term. We use it sometimes with out even targeting someone. “Son of a bitch, I just stubbed my toe.” See, we just say it. To which son are we speaking? No one made us stub our toe; we just did it. Why then would we feel the need to tell some guy that his mother is a bitch? Also, son of a bitch can be augmented. Let’s go back to our spontaneous combustion victim.
“The poor son of a bitch just went poof.” No one would think we’re poking jabs at the dead. No. They know that we mean we feel sorry for the poor son of a bitch. Or, let’s consider Col. Trautman calling John J. Rambo a “Magnificent Son of a Bitch.” Would you want to piss off Rambo? No, neither would Col. Trautman. He’s paying him a compliment. In fact, he’s paying him a pretty big compliment.
I’m now totally convinced that “son of a bitch” is just a literary term, and as such, no one should take it literally. I can’t help but feel sorry for the guy who spontaneously combusted though. I bet he had a family, the poor bastard. But, what if his parents were married? |
